Prompt: The US has run out of 10 digit phone numbers and is now issuing 15 digit numbers…
Piece:
A Bedtime Reminiscence…
A little boy padded softly into his bedroom, cozily attired in his red, fuzzy, footed, MAGA pajamas. He yawned as he snuggled under his star spangled comforter.
“Grandpa, could you tell me a story?”
“Sure, Johnny! Let me tell you a story about the time when I was growing up.
It was many years ago, when America had not yet been Made Great Again by our glorious leader, DJT. At that time, life was shabby. You wouldn’t believe how we had to live back then! The government taxed rich people, Twitter suspended DJT’s account, Fox News had to fight for credibility, and the people preferred the color blue over the color red! Worst of all, we were shamefully limited to 10 digit phone numbers. Think of it – 10! Such a small and insignificant number! Xi Jing Ping was using 12 digit numbers, and Bolsonaro had a 14 digit number! As Americans, we’ve always believed that bigger is better, but here we were being outdone by China and Brazil! It was time to assert our national identity, and prove to the world that America is and always will be #1!
“It’s going to be huuuuuge,” crooned DJT, with a dramatic sweep of his arms on the day that he announced the 15 digit phone number. “We’re not going to let Bozo-naro thumb his nose at us with his 14 digits! We’re going one more – 15! Find out more at MAGA15.com!”
Right away, faithful patriots across the country rushed to visit MAGA15.com. Those were exciting times. For a patriotic donation to the Republican National Committee of $100,000 or more, you could enter a lottery to win such numbers as:
22222-22222-22222
33333-33333-33333
44444-44444-44444
55555-55555-55555
66666-66666-66666
77777-77777-77777
88888-88888-88888
99999-99999-99999
For lesser donations, you could enter a lottery to be the lucky owner of other great numbers, such as:
24682-46824-68246 or
13579-13579-13579 and others.
You may be wondering about 11111-11111-11111. Well, it must be obvious to you that we had to reserve that number for our commander in chief, numero uno himself, DJT!”
“Wow, grandpa! I’m so proud to be an American and have a 15 digit phone number!”
“Yes, Johnny, it was a proud day. Here. I’ll sing you a lullaby. This verse was added to My Country Tis of Thee, and was written by DJT himself, to celebrate our greatness as a nation.
Of digits we have more
Fifteen num-bers galore
Let patriots sing!
Long is my phone num-ber!
Your short ones are dum-ber!
From every cell tower–
Let freedom ring!”
.
What we were reading / watching at the time:
Lots of news about Trump
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