Prompt: Take an ordinary activity in your life (brushing your teeth, making your bed, cleaning the bathroom, etc) and describe it as a broadcaster would a BIG NEWS FLASH. Write a newspaper article describing the event as BIG NEWS!
Piece:
Shocking Revelation – Wasteful Garden City Tooth-brusher
Residents of the usually scenic and peaceful Rose Park neighborhood of Garden City have made a shocking discovery – wasteful and environmentally harmful toothbrushing practices have been perpetrated at 241 Fern Avenue.
The unseemly event unfolded on the morning of Tuesday, November 2. While most respectable Garden Citizens were undertaking carbon-reducing activities like walking their dogs or commuting to their work-from-home enclaves in their living rooms, Fiona Flannigan defied both state environmental and municipal ordinances in her morning tooth brushing.
“Never in my 25 years in Garden City have I seen such barbaric behavior,” noted Garga McGrumps, who had been bird watching and had spied the unprecedented behavior through her birding binoculars. “She waltzed into her bathroom so casually, as if she owned the place. She wastefully wet her toothbrush with water before putting the toothpaste on the bristles! She then spit into the sink instead of saving the precious spit to water her lawn! Finally, she dared to rinse her toothbrush under the tap! I am outraged by her failure to conserve our precious resources during this historic drought!”
The wetting of toothbrushes has long been prohibited under state law. In 2016, in response to ongoing drought conditions, Governor Havin Oldsome instituted a ban on all extraneous water usage. The wetting or rinsing of toothbrushes under the tap, flushing of toilets, and bathing of pets were all subject to new regulations.
“The rest of us, as civic minded citizens – we’ve all been wetting our toothbrushes with our tears, rinsing our toothbrushes in mugs of water which we later use to make our coffee, flushing our toilets with the dirty dishwater, and bathing our pets in the local pool! We’re doing our part, why can’t Mrs. Flannigan?” complained one eye-witness who wishes to remain anonymous.
It is unclear whether government officials will act on Fiona Flagrant’s extraordinary flaunting of state law. The Department of Water Resource Management issued the following statement: “We are grieved and horrified by reports of such thoughtless behavior by a member or our community. We take such reports very seriously and ask for the public’s patience as we complete our ongoing investigation.”
Ms. Flannigan herself was unavailable for comment. She did not respond to phone calls or answer her door. Protestors are currently marching at the corner of Fern and East Buckeye. Citizens are advised to take alternate routes to avoid traffic.
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